Dylan "big axe" Baker is our manager over here at JJ's Axes and Ales! Originally from Colorado he somehow found his way up here and is now hating winter more than ever! Throws both ways. True calling is throwing beers and chugging axes. Born in a Rocky Mountain high. Most likely to trash talk to everyone regardless of skill.
Quote:"dahhhhhh" -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Favorite beer: not sours
Favorite board game: axes
If I could be one animal for a day: Jason Mamoa or Ryan Reynolds thats tough choice.
Sensitive about my calves and my inability to grow facial hair. I can still throw an axe better than you though.
"Diem the carpe man"
Kenadi is the assistant manager here. Originally a softball stud from Lennox she has repurposed her arm to be a deadly axe throwing machine. Our advise, don't upset her too much she is better with an axe than you!
- It’s Kenadi.. like President Kennedy
- Nickname: Kiss Axe
- Throws harder than the guys
- Favorite movie: Wayne’s World
- Hobbies: Traveling, reading, petting dogs, eating snacks
- Beer of Choice: B. Nektar Stupid Man Suit
- Favorite axe throw: One handed (she’s a softball queen)
- Likes to shotgun her beers
- Owners favorite
“I know more than you” - Ron Swanson
Nick thinks he is our best axepert, so we let him think that. He is some sort of Math nerd out of Augustana University. He says he played baseball there too. (his throwing wouldn't suggest it) He is hyper competitive in most situations....he will try to out walk you.
Throwing Hand: Underhand
Beer of Choice: Mama's Yella Pils
Instagram Handle: nhanson7
If I Could Be an Animal For A Day: Grizzly Bear
Hobbies: Being cooler than you
"You miss 100% of the shots your teammates take"..
Brittany is here simply to train you to be ready for all things apocalyptic. She doesn't need to be here she wants to better prepare herself for that inevitable time when zombies take over. She is subtly judging all of us so don't worry its not just you!
Urban dictionary says I was a t-rex in a past life.
Motivated by the need to eat.
I only got this job to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
Crown and coke is my favorite because every queen needs a f*cking crown.
I'm not weird, I'm a limited edition.
Beer of choice: Wine
Well then there is Dalton. He showed up one day and beat everyone, so we decided to keep him around. He once taught Kristi Noem how to throw axes and didn't tell anyone. He is definitely better than NIck. He may be goofy looking, but remember to be the best you have to train with the best!
The name is Jack Axe. Some people call me Dalton
My favorite type of beer is anything that is cold and free.
I am left handed but will beat you with both.
I’m so good its comical that you even think about any other axeperts as a possibility.
I attended Augustana College and graduated from Augustana University.
The best thrower on the team.
Pay me enough and I will pretend to be your friend so you can beat your other friends into oblivion
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. -Michael Scott” -Dalton Homeier
Then there is this.... well we don't know if he is human. So here is what we do know.
This is Chad "the mysterious axe"
All we know about him is he loves PBR out of a wine glass. He shows up randomly pours some beers for us. He communicates in grunts and pointing. Will work for beer.
Axe throwing hand: unknown
Favorite beer: There are others beside PBR?
if you could be any animal for a day?: I am one?
Pretty sure he is just a dog in the shape of a human.